11 Years Ago Today

My yearly reflection on pain, healing, faith, and bonus time

I checked into the hospital, thinking I’d be home in three days.

Instead, 30 hours after the first surgery to remove half a yard of my colon, the surgeons made the call. Nurses rolled me from my hospital bed, down the hall, and onto the cold metal slab of the operating table at 1:30 in the morning. The resection, where they’d attached the ends of my colon back together, had come apart. I was fading. Shaking from the infection and the pain ripping through my body, the team decided they couldn’t wait until morning.

I wasn’t afraid of dying. I wasn’t even scared of the surgery.
What hit me hardest was the thought of what this might do to Lori and the kids.
I didn’t want to be the story they had to tell someday.

Death wasn’t the fear … just the pain of getting there.

And yeah, I got a little glimpse of both.

Spoiler alert: I lived.

By the grace of God, I’m still here. Not because I earned it. Not because I was stronger than anyone else. But because God met me in that dark, fevered place and carried me through it.

Eleven years later, I still carry the scars. My hands and feet buzz with chemo-induced neuropathy … kind of like an old phone charger that still works but gets hot if you touch it wrong, or that feeling like you’ve been reading the sports page for too long while taking the morning poop. It’s a daily reminder of what I’ve come through and how fragile things were. But it’s also a reminder of God’s mercy and His strength when mine was gone.

 Lori’s love, faith, and fierce steadiness through it all have been one of the clearest ways I’ve seen God’s grace in my life; she has put me back together so many times now that she doesn’t even mind clearing the mouse traps around the gardens anymore.

And life? Life is good.

Lori and I just got back from a seven-day road trip, hiking and exploring the Redwood forests and ocean beaches of Northern California. And earlier this winter, we all went skiing, yes, even with the new knees. My doctor gave me the green light with a few simple rules: keep the skis on the snow, avoid trees, and absolutely no black diamonds. So, it’s slow cruising for me now.
Turns out, that’s a great way to ski when your knees … and your body … have both been through a lot.

During my yearly physical in January, Doc told me I’m the healthiest I’ve been in 20 years.
I almost asked if he was looking at the right chart.
I’ve been having some fun with that news.

This past fall, I wrapped up the 15th year of setting up the tailgate celebrations with one of my heroes, cheering on the Beavs.
In January, I played three straight days of golf and finally admitted what I’ve suspected for years:
It’s the arrow, not the Indian.
My new clubs I bought for Godfather's birthday present are on the way.

Over the past year, I’ve had the honor of walking both of my daughters down the aisle, each marrying an incredible man. Those are the kinds of moments I wouldn’t trade for anything. And I know, deep in my gut, I could’ve missed them. That kind of perspective doesn’t leave you.

I still occasionally wear blue toenail polish … if Godfather’s buying.

Blue is the awareness color for colon cancer, and it started the night before my surgery when friends and family painted their nails in solidarity. That photo, toes and fingers all in matching blue, is still one of my favorites. It reminds me that while the road was hellish, we, me and my family, never walked it alone.

And that’s something I’ll never forget.

I carry a debt I’ll never repay. But I try.
Over the years, I’ve sat with others who were newly diagnosed. I’ve shared the details they didn’t know how to ask about, offered what little wisdom I’ve gained, prayed for their comfort and tried to be a calm voice when fear was the only thing in the room.
The same way my cancer coach was for me.
Thanks, buddy.

There were so many who helped me find my footing when I could barely stand, who reminded me that healing isn't always about strength but about surrender … surrendering the tasks that I wanted to do but couldn’t.

So, if you’re walking through something hard; cancer, chronic pain, grief, or just the slow ache of loneliness, my “door” is always open. I’ve got a Zoom link, a new truck, and a coffee cup or a beer mug ready. We can talk, sit in the quiet, or just laugh about hospital food.

Eleven years ago today, everything changed.
But by the grace of God, who heard the prayers and inspired the kindness of so many … I’m still here.

Healthy.
Strong-ish.
Grateful.
And aware every day that I’m living on bonus time.

  

March 1, 2024: A 10-year Reflection

 10 years ago today, I woke from my first-ever colonoscopy at the age of 47 with Dr. Chow and Lori standing there, ready to break the news that I had colon cancer.

“Of course, we have to wait for the lab results to confirm, but in my experience, you should start treatment as soon as possible.”

WOW! I was not supposed to have my first colonoscopy until my 50’s. It was a staggering and pivotal moment in my life. Colon cancer at 47. (you can read all the other details by scrolling the blog)

The cancer was not really noticeable except for a few things like dark stools caused by bleeding. I had low energy, which we later found to be the cause of the bleeding colon and anemia. I mentioned those things to my doctor at my annual physical, and he decided to do a blood test. My white blood cell count was high, so he scheduled a colonoscopy ….. 10 years ago today, March 1^st.

My annual reflection back on the past 10 years:

I have to say they may be the best 10 years of my life. My children have become adults, all have graduated from college (Zip graduates in June) with professions, met 2 of my 15 grandchildren, bought the most incredible house with property a man could ever want, 10D Tech is growing, I’m active, I started skiing again a few years ago … well I’ll be back skiing next season (had to take the last 2 seasons off due to the knees being partially replaced), I’ve made a few new lifelong friends and continue to deepen my friendship with the lifelong friends, I’m celebrating my 35^th wedding anniversary next month to the women who I so deeply adore and admire, she’s the difference maker in the world and significantly my faith grows daily.  

I can say my faith grows because the process of beating cancer has left me with lifelong daily issues that remind me every day is a gift. It sounds cliché to say that, but it’s true, and I am living proof. I wouldn’t say cancer made my life better, but it forced me to account for the beautiful things and people in my life. There are far too many human beings to count, but I hope they all know how their care and prayers gave me these additional 10 years.

I’m not going anywhere!

Last April, something clicked in my head… that it was my “Why.” with that purpose, I have made drastic health changes. I engaged a health coach who, with encouragement and push, helped me. I have lost 30 pounds over the past 8 months and gained muscle from the renewed activity and time in the gym (thankful for the new knees). I have never, on purpose, lost that much weight, but I’m not done yet.

My why? I want to meet ALL of my grandchildren. Everything else falls into place with that “Why”

So, I can’t close out my annual reflection without saying my experience and results would have been much different had I not been paying attention. Nobody likes to talk about colon cancer, but there are some things everybody should be aware of. March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month. March is National Colon Cancer Awareness Month.

Colon Cancer: It’s crucial to be vigilant about any changes in your health and to discuss these with your doctor. It is critical to consult a doctor if you experience any of the following issues. These symptoms are not exclusively indicative of cancer, but discussing them with your doctor is crucial for diagnosing and treating the underlying cause. I had NEVER EVER given colon cancer a passing thought. Had I chosen just to ignore a couple of these symptoms and not mention them in my yearly physical ….. well, you know that part already.

Symptoms common to both women and men include:

• Persistent changes in bowel habits, including diarrhea, constipation, or a noticeable stool narrowing, extend beyond several days.

• Unintentional weight loss.

• Unusual weakness and fatigue.

• Experiencing cramping or pain in the abdomen.

• The presence of blood in the stool may alter its color to dark brown or black.

• Rectal bleeding displaying bright red blood.

• A persistent urge to have a bowel movement that isn’t improved by doing so.

Frequently, symptoms of colorectal cancer do not become apparent until the disease has advanced or spread, underscoring the importance of undergoing screening for colorectal cancer before symptoms develop. Early detection of colorectal cancer via screening can significantly enhance treatment outcomes. Furthermore, screening can potentially prevent certain colorectal cancers by identifying and removing precancerous polyps.

Signs and Symptoms of Colon Cancer | American Cancer Society

Hospitals fix you, Home heals you.

It’s been 9 years today.  I knew going into surgery that morning that I had colon cancer.  I didn’t know the extent and it turned out worse than I expected.  You can read all the details, including descriptions that probably should be skipped on this site. 

So today, I felt it appropriate to add another chapter to this blog that I started because I couldn’t call or speak with everybody to thank them personally. I’m fairly sure nobody reads except Lori and she is already tired of my crap. (Colon Cancer joke) and won’t get past the next paragraph. So, this is mainly for me to review in another 9 years.

The first question everybody asks is: How do you feel?  I feel good…mostly.  The remaining effects of that year are the neuropathies in my feet and hands.  I’ve learned to live with them, but some days they can get to be overwhelming, and I must take a minute to convince myself and my feet that everything is fine. That I am NOT standing in a bucket of cold water while they wake with stabs from an imaginary icepick.  The meds I take mute some of that, but not always.  It doesn’t matter most days; I am grateful.  The cure is worse than the disease, as I have verified with so many other survivors. However, complaining about the cure is far better than having no cure.

My last colonoscopy was in January 2023, and I am happy to report that I have a very healthy colon.

In case you are just joining back into this blog after all these years, I’ll do a little health update: 3 years after cancer, I was diagnosed with a tumor in my spine. Located on the opposite side of my body from the surgery spots for all the other procedures. WOW! That was painful. Everybody was very concerned that the tumor was a cell that had escaped the chemo bath and hid in my spinal canal.  Nope, just some weird tumor about the size of your thumb … not my XXL thumb.  Removed it, determined it was not malignant and everything worked again, pain-free. Over the past 6 months, I had partial replacement of both knees. The left one was 7 weeks ago. I have the scars and the aches that prove I have been in a battle, but I’m happy. In 2018 our goal was No Surgeries.  That is our goal for 2024.

To summarize the answer to how I feel: Pretty good and mostly healthy.

-         After 30+ years of sitting on the sidelines, I started skiing again and my goal is to be back on the mountain this December after taking this season off.

-         Lori and I bought a couple of acres up in the forest. Few neighbors and lots of chores. Chickens, Goats, Cats, Dogs, birds … everybody has a job on the farm and Lori manages us all.

-         We still have great tailgates for Beaver football games.

-         Enjoy Friday night on the deck next to the creek and … chores.

-         I stopped coaching football 5 years ago. 

-         Note to self: More hobbies

I’m an Old Pa to Ella and Wren, Brooke and Mike’s 2 children.  She is where she is supposed to be: In Bend as a Nurse after graduating from Walla Walla.  Connor finished his Electrical Engineering degree from Oregon State University and lives in Eugene. He’s been working on a game and hopes to have it finished some day black shades (blackshadesgames.com) Elizabeth is finishing her Construction Engineering degree at Oregon State and recently said yes to Ben. Probably be in June 2024. Lori took a job with Oregon State University about 4 years ago in the College of Agriculture. Loves working on campus.  Me?  I’m plugging away at 10D Tech. www.10dtech.com

Cancer was hard to beat, and I beat it because of the people and the prayers. Hospitals (doctors and meds) are for fixing you. Home is where you heal. God directs it all. I will slowly repay what was given to me, see the list in previous posts, but that debt is huge (not talking financially). So many people did so many acts of kindness and support that I am constantly looking for ways to give back…. But the greatest gift was the constant prayers that were given on my behalf. I know of no greater gift I can give to you except prayer.

 I’m in a rare percentage of survivors and I am so grateful. My life is very full, and I can’t imagine anything better than being able to pray for you.  How can I pray for you? 

Healing from the Cure

Lets get this out of the way … SORRY!  Yes I know I have not been keeping up with this blog but I do have an excuse and I hope you can move past my tardiness … as minor as it seems typing is very very uncomfortable for me. Since the end of Chemotherapy “spa treatments” I have had neuropathies (nerve issues) in my hands and feet that have left me with little to no feeling and difficult control.  The exception to the lack of feeling is the irritation from pressure on finger tips and toes, so as some of you know I type very hard and it really irritates my fingers as well as people in rooms next to me.

As you know, if you had read the previous posts, I was first diagnosed with Colon Cancer last March 1^st.  Surgery on March 31st did not go well, so I had another surgery 2 days later and another the day after that … April was a difficult month for my friends and family … for me … it wasn’t as hard because I think I may have forgotten the rough parts and I had the black button I could push.  Simple graces I would call it.

Tomorrow morning I go back to the same hospital to reverse the result of the 2^nd surgery which left me with an ileostomy.  i.e. the bag attached to my belly.   “The bag”, which was a key part of my recovery, has also been the curse with which I have lived with since April 2. Chemo was difficult but the bag is a constant reminder that I have been sick. Tomorrow morning, God willing, they will reverse the ileostomy and I will no longer have the bag to keep me company and dictate my schedule.  Dr. Nagamoto will also remove the port in my chest and fix anything else that has “come loose” over the past 9 and ½ months.  The port was used to administer my spa treatments and kept me from being a pin cushion when Doctors needed to check “How I’m doing” 

I expect to be in the hospital aka “Big House” for about 3 days, hopefully out for the weekend. At which time I will be able to again catch up on the morning sports page in the comfort of my own bathroom. 

You have been a great resource and inspiration for me during the past 10 ½ months. You have cared for me and said prayers but most importantly you have been an anchor for my family, supported them when I could not and given them happiness during this time when I have been unable. Thank you! 

God willing, I’ll update this blog on Wednesday but will have Lori update her facebook page tomorrow, just so you can stop your worries and know that it all worked out fine. I would appreciate your prayers tomorrow, not just for me, but for Lori, Brooke, Connor and Elizabeth.  The past 10 ½ months have been hard on them but this week should end this chapter in our lives as I am free of cancer and am just healing from the cure now.  

May God Bless you and keep you safe,

Dave

no news is good news

My friend Steve Talbott, who does not have a facebook account texted me yesterday and asked me how are things, am I ok because I have not updated my blog in 2 months. well as in Steve's words "No news is good news" my excuse .... well besides surfing the internet for shoes ... I've not had the energy to pour out my thoughts onto a keyboard.  Sounds easy but my new normal is a fraction of the old normal. The energy will return as Chemo ends, pain subsides and I heal up from surgery ... another 6 months.

I am good.  I am about to go through the 12th round of Chemo this Wednesday and then I am done with that part of the fight.  I have had a couple rounds that have put me on the mat but have been able to come out the next round swinging and fighting.  This 11th round has been one of the wins, and rather than just covering up for the 12th round I am gonna come out swinging for the knock out shot. I am making plans to travel next week to celebrate my great Auntie Nan's 90th birthday. but plans are just fore thoughts and over the past 6 months I have learned to just live the day.  If I can, I will, If I can't, I won't.  Take the "I can" days and live them, accept the "I can't" days as a nudge to celebrate the gifts I am given. like kissing my wife, telling Connor I love him, Getting a hug from Zip and a long telephone chat with Brooke.

Since my last post, Football has started and we have 3 regular season games left.  I have not "physically" missed any practices but there are many times I am on the field and my mind isn't as clear as it should be ... fortunately I have some great coaches that surround me and pick up the ball when I drop it.... literally they pick up the ball because I drop it ... often ... the Neuropathy caused by the Chemo has stripped my hands and feet of feeling... hopefully I get most of the feeling back someday. Coaching has been the bar that I hold onto when days drag and I just want to stay on the couch and look at the wall. The team knows about my fight and is patient when my brain can't get the words out or I mix up a play.  I enjoy game days because it is the most focused I can be and I stay that way for the entire day ... then crash.

Everybody around me has been incredibly patient and understanding.  I hope you all know how important your support, prayers and concern have made the past 6 months bearable. As you can see in the picture I have managed to put some weight back on which has astounded the Dr's and Nurses.  Not really supposed to gain weight during Chemo but I've managed ... it's a good thing.  After everything is done we (which means Lori) will go back to worrying about my weight ... I really liked being thinner just not the process that made me thinner.

Next step after Chemo will be a surgeries to fix things and put all the pipes back together.  I am planning on surgery around the 1st week of December so I can enjoy Thanksgiving and be up and around by Christmas ... plus that is the week after the State Championship game ... I do still have an eye on the prize.

I will try to catch you up next week.  Have Saturday College Football to watch.

Love and appreciation to you all
Dave

ChemoBrain

Today is the Monday after treatment, this is the first Monday after the spa that I have been completely active.... It is kinda unusual as most 1st Mondays I have been unable to get going.  Friday and Saturday I was stuck in the rut unable to giddy up.  I'm learning to expect the unexpected... I expected to be active on Friday ... Wasn't!  I expected to be down today.... Wasn't!  

This process leaves me with what has been described as ChemoBrain... It makes me feel like I've lost some of my 'social/family filters'. Sometimes I find myself blurting things out, and unfortunately hurting someone's feelings because of a lack of sensitivity or caring. My brain, for now, seems to process things differently; I don't seem to use the same methods for processing information. I don't always understand things that I used to 'get'. And I don't always think things through like I used to. I'm gonna read a book is "Your Brain After Chemo" - I'm finding that there are very real impacts on the brain due to chemo. Another example - I get in my car to go somewhere familiar, then find I'm taking the wrong route. I get a bit mixed up these days about where things are located - north of where I'm at, or south? I have to stop & think about it, and I've lived in Corvallis for about 14 years and I have a built in GPS that stopped working. It's weird.

Very common among cancer survivors treated with the Folfox therapy and other “chemo cocktails” containing multiple system wide chemo drugs. Chemo brain is described by many as a “mental fuzziness” or a clouding of the thought process. Difficulty remembering, challenges with reasoning and maintaining a continuity of thoughts are often expressed. I experiencing all of those.  Things are better the further away from treatment but go right back it dark on spa days.  I'm told the side effects often lessen after chemo treatments are completed.  I've read the issues tend to resolve faster for those who continue with mental activity and exercise including puzzles, word games and other mentally challenging activities. In the short term, I keep a calendar, write this blog and write down my daily reminders to keep me on track or I get distracted.  

Football practice started today at 7am... I was there... And it was good!

How can you help? .... Keep my family in your prayers, they are frustrated with me a bit.. I guess I'm grumpy and demanding... The good news is that I will be traveling to Bend this weekend for my 30yr reunion... And my oncologist said there is no problem having a beer or two.... So maybe I'm gonna be a little less grumpy this weekend. Amen to that!

Love you all
Dave

Be Like Water, My Friend

Yesterday, I was reminded of the inscription on the medal that hangs around my neck that Ric gave me prior to surgery ... "Be Like Water My Friend".  We went to my nephews wedding and I fell asleep in the living room while the rest of the family Danced, folded up the chairs, cleaned up the garage, moved the trash etc... I had no "giddy up" left... and the family seemed to understand I was just not able to get up and help with the post ceremonies that families go through when one of us gets married.  My tank was empty at the time and I fell asleep.

If you know me you know how hard it is for me to say "No I'm gonna let somebody else do it" that is what Ric was trying to impress upon me as I heal... sometimes it is ok to flow around the rock.

Bruce Lee wrote:

Nothing is weaker than water,
But when it attacks something hard
Or resistant, then nothing withstands it,
And nothing will alter its way.

"The above passages from the Tao Te Ching illustrate to us the nature of water: Water is so fine that it is impossible to grasp a handful of it; strike it, yet it does not suffer hurt; stab it, and it is not wounded; sever it, yet it is not divided. It has no shape of its own but molds itself to the receptacle that contains it. When heated to the state of steam it is invisible but has enough power to split the earth itself. When frozen it crystallizes into a mighty rock. First it is turbulent like Niagara Falls, and then calm like a still pond, fearful like a torrent, and refreshing like a spring on a hot summer’s day."

Yup! I just quoted Bruce Lee, but it felt like it applied to me today.  I have worked through Round 6 pretty well.  Except for the occasional "Hit the Wall" moments I have done pretty well.  I have enjoyed some good times with my friends... who I have come to rely upon more than they know. Went to the River last week, Drove Brooke and her friend to the Airport at 4am, went to the fair, Drank a beer at the the Marshall Tucker Band concert,  Picked up Brooke at the Airport, Went to the Nike Employee store, Jonathon and Cecelia's wedding then home.  Today we are headed to Mass then on to a lake for a little while with some of those friends that I have come to rely upon.  I'll spend Monday and Tuesday trying to get a weeks work in, as well as a couple doctor visits.

My health is good, I have added weight and am tolerating all the side effects of the treatments and am looking forward to the end of them.

I appreciate your prayers and good thoughts.  There is no doubt in my mind that they are the reason I have handled the Chemo treatments so well.  Please continue those prayers, for me and for my Family... especially Lori because she has shouldered so much of the burden.

Wednesday Round 7 begins ... more than half way done.

Love to you,
Dave

Ding Ding! Round 6 coming up

Ok I know it has been a while since my last update of this blog, but the lesson I am learning is to make sure I take care of David.  Hard lesson to learn hard gift to accept when everybody else wants to help "Take care of David" but I am learning to accept the very gracious gifts my friends and family give me.  Their time, Energy, Love, Meals, Concern, Dog walks and fresh fruit is staggering. sometimes that means I need to prioritize and get the 1 thing I need to do done and updating this blog has not made it onto the #1 spot until today.  I am 48 as of today and decided I should chronicle some more of my thoughts.

I am finishing the 5th round of Spa Treatment and Round 6 is Wednesday.  I am not looking forward to it, however I have to say it has not been as hard as I thought it would be ... hopefully that is just not me getting used to feeling like crap and accepting it for the standard of feeling good.  The exception was Round 3.  It whooped me good, but my corner gave me some advice and round 4 and now round 5 are marked down as wins.  Round 6 marks the half way point in the fight and I feel pretty good about it and am preparing.

I deal with cold neuropathies on my hands, Feet, Face, Throat and nose.  Which means it feels like I am picking up/stepping on/swallowing a pin cushion with the pointy ends going the wrong direction when ever one of my aforementioned body parts comes in contact with something that is colder than body temperature.  Those symptoms seem to fade within a week after Spa Treatment so I have about 5-6 days of fairly normal sensitivities. My energy also increases the farther away I get from the last treatment and closer I get to the next ... I guess that is by design ... right when I feel pretty good again, I'm sucker punched. I do suffer a bit from "Chemo Brain" and it tends to mess with my memory. so If you catch me repeating a story or stop mid sentence that is the swiss cheese I have for a brain right now ... kinda feels like a chapter from Flowers for Algernon sometimes.

Football started this past week and I made every practice.  This week will be the test to see if I still have what is needed to give the team when I have a Chemo pump attached to my chest.  I am looking for a CV sack bag to stuff the pump into so I can stay with team colors.

Rd 6 should be a good round for me. I have learned what I need to do to prepare myself.  It marks the half way point  ... see what I just did there ... repeated myself ...

What can you do to help?  That is the question everybody asks because you want to help but don't know what to offer ... Prayers!  After reading all the support group stories and stories from other people and articles I have read I'm convinced the main thing that has made a difference in my treatment and how I feel has been your prayers. I have not had to suffer like all those stories and articles said I would (except I do miss fresh fruit smoothies and cold Gatorade)
Thank you for your prayers.
Dave

From The Chair ...

Sitting here in the chair getting my 3rd round of "Spa" treatment. The previous 2 have not been bad and I have been able to work through them with only a little discomfort.  The reputation Chemo has is that it can cause overwhelming nausea but so far I have not been overwhelmed, which really is a direct answer to prayers.  Remember before treatment started that what I wanted to avoid was the nausea?Pretty incredible.

Note: an "attaboy" to the OSU Beaver Baseball team. You all were one of the bright spots on many of my days over the past couple months. The constant feed from PAC12 network or a friend with an extra ticket helped distract on days of glum. Even got to sit in the scaffolding one evening thanks to Lori and my friends. Bummed I don't get to watch Beaver Baseball as I go through this round but do appreciate the great season and looking forward to the next great season at Oregon State.

The other side effects have not been overwhelming but they do seem to be increasing... Namely cold sensitivity to my hands, nose and throat. Basically whenever my hands touch cold or I drink liquids that are above room temp or I breath air conditioner air through my nose I feel those side effects. My eye sight seems to be temporarily changing... Note to self: go to dollar store to get some reading glasses. Energy level is good on the upswing of the cycle and acceptable on the 5 days after chemo and the take home purse. A few others  but the one I am watching now are there seems to be these short gray hairs ending up on my pillow, shirts, iPad screen, work space... Etc..    Bono's hair is black.... So I am thinking maybe it's Brooke's cat leaving a calling card ... I hope that is what it is.

I am doing well, (installed a phone system yesterday.. Actually I assisted Steve) all the blood tests are coming back positive... Very positive.  I've managed to put on a couple pounds so not as gaunt.  Dr says now is not the time to be dieting and that the weight that came off was not good so adding weight back on will help in the healing and dealing with the Chemo.... Just not all the weight. I'm not so pasty white/gray and a little color has returned to my face.

I'll be leaving the spa in a bit... They kick me out after 6 hours. I'm gonna go home and take a nap.

I can't close this post without saying thank you. Not sure I will never be able to express how much your love, support and prayers have meant to me and my family.  You all have helped us in so many ways, set examples of kindness to my family .... I will spend a lifetime passing it on.

Thank you,

Dave

Round 1 - DONE

I have finished my first round of Chemo and am happy to say it wasn't completely debilitating.  I did/do experience some of the side effects but the dreaded overwhelming sickness wasn't as bad as I had imagined. The biggest issue was the sapping of energy... hence this late post.  Last week I went into the infusion center at Good Sam and they took blood tests in preparation for the next day and gave me my first Iron transfusion. (today I had my 3rd and have 2 more to go) the next day on Wednesday I took the chair and got the first round.  My Nurse, Andi, was awesome she laughs easy which made me feel a little better and more comfortable. I'll admit I was a bit nervous. After about 5 hours of sitting, chatting with Lori and eventually dozing in the chair, I was finished and they sent me home with a "Man purse" that contained a pump which continued pumping chemicals into me until Friday afternoon.  It worked fine until Thursday night. The needle in my chest port was not working properly so it kept sounding the Alarm all night ... that may have contributed to my tired days over the weekend.  They fixed it Friday morning and removed the pump Friday afternoon.

I was expecting the worse flu symptoms ever but the anti-nausea medicine is good enough that it wasn't so bad. Watched the Beavs pretty much lock up another Pac12 tittle on TV instead of going to the games, slept most of Saturday and Sunday, then gathered myself on Monday and made it to the Dr. Appt by 1pm on Monday. Only disappointment was I could not go with Connor to the Portland State Jr Day to meet coaches and tour the campus ... but Lori did and the 2 of them had fun, I think it was better for Connor ... I tend to make him nervous when it comes to the post high school plans.

Going forward, some of the side effects may build up such as the cold drink sensitivity, hands, feet and jaw clenching, eyesight degrading, cold touch sensitivity and maybe some loss of hair... but the Saturday and Sunday sickness is manageable and the Thursday and Friday nights I'll be fine. I am now confident that I can still be on the sidelines this season with the Raiders and actively participate as a coach. I was worried I wouldn't be up to it. This is really good news  ... probably the best good news to me. This will be my 11th year with this group, they are seniors now and I am excited to see the fruition of a decade of work which really has been a labor of love for these young men.

Lori and the kids are doing well.  Lori continues to be such a support taking care of my bandages and the ileostomy.  Last week she worked 50+ hours at her job as a Property Manager despite taking Wednesday off and part of Friday.  She is running ragged but we are managing with the help of our family and friends in the community.  You all have been so very generous with bringing meals, caring support and helping us with Bono. Thank you.

The bright side to this great day:  I have been off high blood pressure pills for about 6 weeks and I have been consistently at 120/80 or better, My weight stabilized and I put on a couple pounds (230lbs today), I have enough old school jeans that still fit so I don't look like I am wearing MC Hammer pants. (Pre 230 jeans), I am actively working (from home mostly) for at least a couple hours a day and I have the confidence that I can do this 11 more times.

Moving back to some sort of normalcy is gonna take a while but I am looking forward to the Pole, Peddle Paddle 2015
Dave

Moving Forward

This is how my day started yesterday. I was exhausted but managed to change my tire.  I’m a little sore today but using leverage correctly I barely lifted anything.  Bummer was once the spare was on it was a little low and I could not carry the compressor to fill up the spare until Connor got home and helped with the compressor.

I met with Dr. McGregor who is my oncologist yesterday.  Things are going to go forward as planned.  Next Wednesday we will start Chemo. She looked at my wounds and thought we are far enough along that it will be ok. The blood tests from Monday came back pretty good.  My Anemia is better but not great so we will add some Iron transfusions during the Chemotherapy days… which adds about an hour to me being there.  She also looked at the report about "free floating cancer cells" and my numbers are down ... way down from when she last took a look which was in the hospital. All in all a pretty good report.

So with the cancer removed during surgery, technically I am in remission. Why am I going through Chemo? Well the treatment is termed "Adjuvant Chemo".  It is full force standard care as if I was full of cancer but it is more of a protection for reoccurrence. It can help keep the cancer from coming back later and has been shown to help people with stage III colon cancer live longer. It is given after all visible cancer has been removed to lower the chance that it will come back. It works by killing the small number of cancer cells that may have been left behind at surgery because they were too small to see. Adjuvant chemo is also aimed at killing cancer cells that might have escaped from the main tumor and settled in other parts of the body (but are too small to see on imaging tests).

My voice is moving back to normal, for the past month it has sounded kinda raspy and whispery but should be loud by football season. The 2 incubations during the surgeries rubbed my vocal cords and have taken some time to heal.

I’ve stopped dropping weight and managed to put a couple pounds back on.  Mostly water weight.  Gatorade helps me retain water… miracle drink.

Time to switch to work… I am still home but able to get a few ours of work in now… trying to carry my share but my business partners really have been doing double duty.  If you need a business phone system, Phone repair, technology upgrade or telecom consultation you know who to call.... Yup …  Steve or Richard because I can’t quite make it to the phone before it stops ringing.  Leave a message I'll call you back.

Take care,

Dave

Big Boy Pants

I know it has been a couple weeks since I last posted but there really has been nothing to report other than… woke up, changed the bandages, ate a little, went for a walk, watched a little sports center,  ate a little, watched another episode of Vikings, rewatch the episode because I fell asleep, ate a little, try to do a little work,  family comes home, run errands riding shotgun with Lori, ate a little, watch The Voice or American Idol with Elizabeth eventually to bed and finally to sleep.

I am much stronger and my weight loss has stabilized at 225lbs.  Yes I have lost nearly 50 pounds since I checked into the hospital on March 31. More if you count the water weight I initially gained during the first week in the hospital. I am going to need a new wardrobe, I am no longer a XXL but everything I own is... luckily I saved some stuff from High school, it fits again.  I dig Izod, but the OP shorts seem a bit too short now.

The wound from surgery is healing up and may not be as ugly as I first imagined.  I still look a bit like a jig saw puzzle with pieces missing but those pieces are filing in nicely and Lori is becoming a very good bandage changer.  Only takes about 10 minutes to change the dressing now.

I am learning to live with the physical changes/temporary ileostomy but it has been the hardest and most discouraging part of all this stuff.  I am happy that it is only temporary and that once the Chemotherapy is completed it will be reversed…. But that won’t be until November or December.

The days have been broken up a bit when I have a visitor, of which I have been very grateful.  I have been off pain medication for about a week now so I am able to think clearer and run the errands that Lori has been doing.  Lori has been working so hard at her new job I am thankful that I can finally feel like I am helping out again.  She has been so incredible, never complaining and with complete patience with me when I get grumpy or irritable.  Making special trips to the store when there is something I think I need… like green olives, sushi or really salty potato chips. (BTW: anybody have any real salty chip recommendation?) I don’t really absorb salt right now so salty things seem to be a craving … I know …. I sound like a soon to be Mom.

Going forward- Yesterday I went into Samaritan and they cleared my Power port which was installed while in the hospital just below my left collar bone (Note: punch me or squeeze my right shoulder please, the left one is a bit tender) They also drew blood for testing and preparation for Chemotherapy which will start next week on the 14^th.  I meet with Dr. McGregor on Wednesday the 7^th for final preparation and plans for Chemo.  I am hoping to be the lucky one who has no side effects (that is a VERY specific prayer request, no side effects from Chemo)

I will go through up to 12 rounds of Chemo.  I opted not to participate in a trial and feel a bit guilty that I can’t help but I selfishly wanted to make sure I get the standard treatment of what is already known to work and be effective fighting a reoccurrence of cancer.  There was a possibility in the trial that I would be one of the ones who get the shorter and placebo treatment.  I just felt that I have children who are still in school and I can’t take that chance. I have lots to do and plan on many years of being with my family and NOT going through this again because I didn't get the standard care and treatment.

I will have a treatment every other Wednesday until the 12 rounds are complete or the side effects are too great and hurting my body more than helping. I will sit most of the day on Wednesday at Good Samaritan then go home with a fanny pack and pump so the Chemotherapy (FOLFOX) runs for 46 hours.  On Friday morning I go back into the office and they remove the pump. Then wait to see what side effects hit.  Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, cold sensitivity, sore on soft tissue like gums, Hair loss, fatigue, easily bruised and nerve damage. Most side effects will disappear once the Chemotherapy is stopped.

Well that is enough for today, I have some work I want to do and I want to wash my hair… I’m goal this morning is to Shave, hair wash, sponge cleaning, tooth brushing and getting dressed without taking a resting breather between any of those tasks…. Haven’t done it yet…. Hopefully today is that day.  Baby steps … I’ll probably need to nap after getting ready for the day.

I appreciate you.  I know you read through this entire post because you care about me and my family.  Thank you. I can’t wait to someday show you how much I appreciate your care.

Dave

Ill post tomorrow after my appointment with Dr. McGregor.

25 years and she still loves me

Let me start by saying I am one of the most blessed men in the world.  Yesterday, Lori and I celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary.  We were planning a shindig for this weekend but the recent events have caused us to reschedule the shindig for the 26^th wedding anniversary.  Why am I blessed?  For starters she has put up with me for 25 years (even patient with me now that I am grumpy) and knowing that I am not feeling well she was content to sit and catch up on Survivor with me as our 25^th anniversary evening out….. plus numerous other reasons.  I certainly out kicked my coverage when she agreed to marry me.

Recovery is gonna take some time.  I am feeling stronger, I can walk a couple blocks when I have a walking partner, but this is not something I am going to be able to muscle through.  The surgery scar is healing and I am learning about having a bag attached to me but I require time, nutrition and rest.

I went to see both the surgery team doctors and the Oncology doctor on Monday.  Scott, who is Dr. Nagamoto’s PA said things are healing great and removed a bunch of metal staples… kinda weird how many there were and I didn’t know or could tell. I’ll go back next Wednesday for another check up on the healing.

Then I went to see Dr. McGregor who is the oncology Dr.  She let me know what stage I was diagnosed (Stage 3) It is stage 3 because of 2 things.  They could see the cancer tumor from outside the colon wall and they found a cancer mass just outside the colon wall that may have been a lymph node at one point. She/we have decided that May 14^th will be the start of the 12 rounds of Chemo therapy that I will go through.  I am not completely sure how it all works but she explained I get to sit in a chair for 6+ hours every other Wednesday while they pump FolFox into me. Then I go home with a carry pump and Thursday more is pumped in.  Friday they remove the pump. Then Saturday and Sunday I get sick.  Back to work on Monday. Can’t really say I am looking forward to the every other week spa treatment I am about to go through.

I am choosing to go through Chemo because the chance of a reoccurrence is reduced by about 50%... I’ll take those odds. Chance of reoccurrence after going through Chemo is reduced to 15-19%.  I am going to work to be one of the 80%ers that do not have a re-occurrence.

I am steadily reducing my need for pain killers so my brain is getting clearer but it is still foggy some times.  I am going stir crazy and ready to do something else. My butt hurts a little from sitting so much the last few weeks. I am so grateful for the friends in this community…. As I type this a friend is out walking Bono.  He has been going stir crazy with me and needs to burn off energy or …. Else. (high energy dog, cooped up with slow moving man … not a good combo)

In case you are wondering when you see me.  So far I have dropped about 35 pounds overall. I checked in at 271 then ballooned up in the hospital to 280lbs.  On Monday I was 235 and I am pretty sure I am still dropping.  We are trying to stop the weight loss but my appetite has not returned yet so I am forcing myself to eat. There are easier ways to lose weight.

I really do hope to see you soon. Drop in and say hi if you have the chance.

Dave

Home by my self ... like a big boy.

Healing at home and I am feeling stronger every day.  I am still on the hospital sleep pattern so long stretches of sleep are rare. The 16 days in the hospital were a tough reconditioning of the mind as well as a reconditioning and fixing of the body. Last night, I asked Lori to help me move the IV pole so I could get up…. We left the IV pole back at the hospital… I got a little Swiss cheese holes in the head right now. That pole was like a ball and chain and I almost believed it was permanently attached … reconditioning of the mind.

How am I currently? Well during the second surgery Dr. Nagamoto installed an ileostomy bag which I am learning to take care of by myself. So I have that baggage.  It is not permanent and will be removed after I have completed Chemotherapy.  Reversing the bag will include another couple night stay in the hospital.  I also have a very ugly looking wound that Lori is learning how to change the dressing. There is a nurse that stops by to teach her for the next couple days. I have a tough time looking at the wound from my angle, but brave Lori is putting her feelings aside and taking care of me like a champ.  The nurse is there just in case Lori stumbles…. She won’t, she’s tough.

Monday we will go in to see Dr. Nagamoto, who will probably remove some staples.  We will then go and meet with Dr. Kim McGregor who will be my oncologist. The Cancer has been cut out but we want to make sure it doesn’t come back and that it has not spread to other parts…. Pretty sure it hasn’t but we are gonna make sure. She will determine when and how long the Chemo therapy will go on.  Her initial guess was anywhere from 3-6 months. We’ll know more on Monday.

What am I eating? … nothing sounds good but I do have a few things that seem to be more enjoyable than others.  Fresh Fruit especially strawberries and melons (Cantaloupe, Honeydew & Water Melon)  I have had peanut butter toast and tuna fish with pickles seems to sit right for now.  a little chicken. You my friends have been bringing food over to make it easier on my family, thank you.

Lori and her friends want you to know about this site https://mycancercircle.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/716126/ they are using to help organize Lori.  You’ll need to request to be a member of the group so it may take a day to turn it around but Lori is checking this when she gets home from work.

If you want to stop by I am here at home catching up on my soap operas … yea right! You may catch me getting ready to walk to the street and back … baby steps. or next week the streets of College Hill neighborhood.

Gotta go, “Days of somebody’s children” is on

Dave

Finally Home- April 15

After 16 days of showing my privates to everyone that walked into the room, I am finally home sitting in my chair and gonna sleep for more that 45 minutes at a time tonight. This is really me writing this, not my beautiful wife, Lori, trying to make out my mumbling sentences of what was going on that day.  I am home bound for a while but feel strong.... but now I am tired.  I will tell you all more later ... probably tomorrow when I am a little more rested.

Tomorrow we begin the task of healing and preparing for what is next.

Love to you all
Dave

Port- April 13

So the Port went well this morning.  My left shoulder is a bit sore but that is normal. The port means NO MORE POKING and quick easy access to medicine. The ER nurse can find some other dead guy to find a vein, I'm set with this cool new IV port / #Borg

Loved all the visitors!
Dave

TV - not a chance

April 12
From Dave -
I got the news from the CT scan that they could not see in significant pools to drain from my abdomen and my white blood cell count is improving.  The CT scan didn't show anything they could attack specifically. My earliest release date would be Tuesday and tomorrow I am getting a stint.
I don't have time to even relax and watch TV.  They keep me busy.  Here is my day.....
6:00 Pretty good nights sleep because I took a sleeping pill.  Gives me weird dreams right after I take it and I still had two hours of prodding, poking and checking but otherwise it really worked!
6:30 Up, potty and bag.  Talk to CNA about Eddyville
6:45am - tried to read an article
6:50am - "Dexter" shows up and takes his three vials of blood
6:50am - Nurses shift changes so we talk about yesterday and today.  We set our goals. New nurse hasn't come by yet.
7:10 - Try to read that article again.
7:30 - CNA arrives earlier than expected.  So I get my blood pressure, my heart rate, my teperature taken.  Check to make sure all my vitals are okay and everything is functioning properly.
7:55 - Nursing student arrives and does all the checks and has me breath for her in my little contraption.
8:15 - Doctor and one of the students show up to check on me.  Take some bandages off, discussion of what's to come today.
8:30 - My nurse and the student start to change my bandages now that the doctors have inspected them.
8:55 - I decide I'm going to shave and washcloth myself clean.  I order breakfast first and it arrives before I am done shaving.
9:20 - Lori arrives and I am hungry.  My Uncle calls.  I am hungry.
10:00 - I'm expanding my walk today to go from "C" all the way down to "A" elevator.  The night shift nurse had found a pair of pants so I actually feel like I am walking in style now, not some skirt.  It is much more comfortable.
11:30 - Rested in chair, so now time to change bag and potty, stuff like that.  Nurse tells me that I have to stop eating because I am getting a port.  No big deal but I was surprised.  I won't have to keep getting poked now.
11:45 - Lori leaves
1:15 Turns out it is Sunday from Midnight I can't eat
12:00 - Nurse needs a vital count check.  So I move from the chair to the bed.  I get poked, prodded and breath exercises.
12:35 - I think I'm going to finally read my article
12:37 - The wrecking crew walks in.  All of his students, physicians assistant, my nurse and her student so 8 people in the room.  Everybody wants to see the scar.  Dr. Nakamoto also explains why he will put the port in first thing Sunday morning.  It'll heal up and be pretty easy to use going forward.  I ask him if there's a version that comes with an MP3 Jack (don't think he gets it)
1:15 - I order lunch, tuna on rye, honeydew melon slice and start to read that article while I wait for it to arrive.
1:25 - The student nurse walks in to talk about HER lunch, she also gave me my painkillers (because I am still in a lot of pain)
1:45 read my article, watch the latest episode of surviving Jack, break one of the staples from laughing so hard.
2:30 - finished my lunch and rest in the chair
3:15 - Brooke comes with her taxes, she puts me to work (Lori falls asleep in my bed)
4:25 - Lori shampoos my hair WHEW, (while Brooke actually falls asleep in my bed), we put fresh clothes on and do the big walk again down the "A" elevator and back three times.
4:50 - Brooke and Lori leave to pick up Elizabeth
5:00 - I sit down to write this note.
5:35 - Maybe I can get a second article in today!

OH AND I CAN HAVE LOTS OF VISITORS SUNDAY.

BEST,
Dave